Bus Stop Seat of the Week

Bus Stop Seat of the Week

The bus stop seat that gets you closer to a real estate agent than you ever thought you’d have to get. No mat­ter where you sit on this seat, the real estate agent’s eyes fol­low you, end­lessly peer­ing over your shoul­der as you check your phone, wal­let, fin­ger­nails. This is the per­fect seat to give up to an elderly per­son, lest you get any of that ‘prop­erty smarm’ stuck to your back.

The Caped Christmasader

Christ­mas means dif­fer­ent things to dif­fer­ent peo­ple. For some it means cel­e­brat­ing love and peace. For oth­ers it means food and wine. But for me, Christ­mas means Batman.

batman

From Bat­man #285: The Mys­tery of Christ­mas Lost.

Every year as Christ­mas gets closer I start see­ing the Dark Knight every­where; as if I’m wear­ing con­tact lenses with the bat sig­nal printed on. Obvi­ously this is founded on a child­hood of Christ­mases that all fea­tured Bat­man in some way or another – from play­ing with Bat­man action fig­ures received from Santa to draw­ing pic­tures of Bat­man with Der­wents received from Santa. But Bat­man and Christ­mas have a much deeper con­nec­tion than just my own (prob­a­bly com­mon) Bat­mana­nia under the Christ­mas tree. Christ­mas, as it turns out, is a big part of the Bat­man­verse and the comics­verse too.

Christmas-with-the-Super-He

Both Mar­vel and D.C.  have a long his­tory of putting out Christ­mas comics. Super­man was at the North Pole sav­ing Santa from Nazis back in the 1940s. D.C. has put out var­i­ous Christ­mas With the Super-Heroes col­lec­tions over the years. (That’s the cover of a 1974 edi­tion above). And here’s twelve of the best D.C. hol­i­day comics accord­ing to Comics Alliance.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Zombies

Speak­ing of Christ­mas comics my favourite one of late is It’s Begin­ning to Look a Lot Like Zom­bies – an illus­trated col­lec­tion of Christ­mas car­ols told from a zombie’s point of view. It’s the lat­est in the trend of mix­ing zom­bies with well-known cul­tural cor­ner­stones. But that’s a dis­trac­tion from our Caped Christ­masader conversation.

It’s not only the Bat­man comics that are inex­tri­ca­bly linked to the fes­tive sea­son. The sec­ond Tim Bur­ton Bat­man movie, Bat­man Returns, is set in Gotham City dur­ing Christ­mas. And one of my favourite episodes of Bat­man: The Ani­mated Series was ‘Christ­mas With The Joker’. I rec­om­mend watch­ing the whole episode below.

For me Christ­mas con­tin­ues to the Bat time of the year. I already know that this year there will be Bat­man presents, chat­ter about Heath Ledger dur­ing Christ­mas lunch and quite pos­si­bly The Bat­man Board Game will get a play in the evening.

the-batman-game

I sup­pose any pop­u­lar cul­tural icon that has lasted for so many years is bound to make a big appear­ance dur­ing the gift-giving sea­son. And when you walk through shop­ping cen­tres and see lit­tle chil­dren decked out in full Bat­man cos­tumes, hold­ing Mummy’s hand as she does her last-minute Christ­mas shop­ping, it’s evi­dent that Bat­man is going to be a yule­tide fix­ture for many years to come.

A Pictorial Guide to avoiding Camera Loss

Have you lost your cam­era recently? Mis­laid it some­where in a national park? Left it in a taxi? Dropped it in the gorilla pit? Any­one can be a vic­tim of the thought­less­ness and/or sleepi­ness that can lead to Cam­era Loss.

How can I pre­vent Cam­era Loss?’ I hear you ask, wish­ing I’d get to the point. Well, you can’t pre­vent cam­eras from get­ting lost, but you can do some­thing so your cam­era can be found very soon after it has vanished.

All you have to do is take some pho­tos – which you never delete from your cam­era – so when some­one finds your cam­era at the bot­tom of the gorilla pit they are able to locate you and return the lost prop­erty to its right­ful owner.

To illus­trate just how you can safe­guard your cam­era from the crip­pling effects of Cam­era Loss, here are the pics that I always keep on my camera.

Hello

You-Must-Have-Found-My-Came

thankyou

Unless

But-I'll-Assume

I-Probably

Like-on-a-Train

Or-At-The-Post-Office

Or-In-My-Dog

Well-Probably

I-don't-even

Nothing

Anyway,-Thanks

We-Have-Such

One-Time

Bath

Sorry

Anyways-Can-you-email

I-Will-Be-Relived

And-Will-Probably-Hug

Unless-You-Have-Personal

Or-You-Are-Remembering

In-Which-Case

OK-Go-Email-Me

And-I-Will-Go-Wait

Reflections on being the Goat Skull Guy (and pigeonholing in general)

pigeonholing

Over the past few months I have been addressed as ‘Andrew’, ‘Sir’ and ‘Oh no, that guy is com­ing over to talk to us – fake smiles every­one – oh hello Andrew.’ I am con­tent with all of these monikers. What I am less thrilled about is being known as the ‘Goat Skull Guy’. Ever since I blogged about tak­ing my own Goat Skull to work with me for Take Your Skull to School or Work Day I have been cat­e­gorised – or pigeon­holed if you will – as that guy with the skull.

Pigeon­hol­ing is an ugly sport, like ele­phant poach­ing or play­ing Twister in win­ter. It ren­ders both the pigeon­holee and the pigeon­holer one-dimensional and it evokes the image of a car­toon char­ac­ter being shot with pigeon-shaped bul­lets that leave pigeon-shaped wounds. Like I said, it’s an ugly sport.

It can take on many dif­fer­ent forms too. There is Actor Pigeon­hol­ing for actors who never move on from suc­cess­ful roles (Buffy, I’m look­ing at you) and there is Author Pigeon­hol­ing for authors who never escape their most suc­cess­ful books (J.K. I’m look­ing at you). And there is Present Pigeon­hol­ing. This kind of pigeon­hol­ing has prob­a­bly hap­pened to you before. You express an inter­est in – let’s say – cus­tard – and for the rest of your life you receive custard-themed presents: car­tons of cus­tard, cus­tard pow­der, cus­tard apples, books of cus­tard recipes, books about Gen­eral Custer, etc.

But Weird Pigeon­hol­ing – aka being pigeon­holed for a per­ceived weird­ness – is the worst. I say this as both the Goat Skull Guy and as a per­son. I haven’t always been on the receiv­ing end of Weird Pigeon­hol­ing though. At school I was over­shad­owed by char­ac­ters such as Robert the Blood­eater who was known for eat­ing his own blood, Fast Brent who was known for run­ning and Jessie­and­Cassie who were known for being twins.

No, it wasn’t until 2009 that I was truly reduced to being a one-thing won­der. Since post­ing about goat skulls on this blog I have received an end­less stream of emails from peo­ple who say they have been reminded of me by a cer­tain skull or goat-related object they’ve come across.

Does it even mat­ter though? Should we care if we are pigeon­holed? I thought about this a lot and I realised that there is actu­ally a lot more to me. I am a real-life human being with loads of dif­fer­ent lay­ers of emo­tions and gar­ments and per­son­al­ity traits. I am not a goat-obsessed weirdo with a taste for bones. And it really doesn’t mat­ter if peo­ple pigeon­hole me. I felt much bet­ter after I realised this and had freed my mind from a tor­tur­ous line of thought. And so I stepped out­side and went for a leisurely stroll through the goat grave­yard out the back of my house, con­tent in the knowl­edge that I am the well adjusted per­son I have always thought I am.

Varsity College hold their own Greatest Blogger competition

I recently got an email from a teacher at Var­sity Col­lege on the Gold Coast who had been read­ing The Great­est Blog­ger in the World with her Grade 5 class. Appar­ently they liked the book so much they decided to run their own in-class Great­est Blog­ger com­pe­ti­tion. They used the specs from the offi­cial com­pe­ti­tion that ran back in July, to com­pose a short story with words and terms from the book such as ‘Bar­code’, ‘Lola Cat’ and ‘Trunk Food Company’.

The Var­sity Col­lege Great­est Blog­ger com­pe­ti­tion has been and gone and I can now exclu­sively reveal that the win­ner of the com­peition was Olivia. Good on you Olivia. You are the Great­est Blog­ger (at Var­sity Col­lege, if not the world). And here is Olivia’s win­ning com­po­si­tion for your read­ing pleasure.

My granny is soooo annoy­ing that we built her granny flat out of straw in the hope that one day, the big bad wolf would come and blow it down and eat her! But instead when she opened the door she saw Lola Cat with the Boots — Puss-in-Boots, along with his famous out­back, iron­man of an ani­mal BARCODE — or stage name — DUCK ON A LEASH!! I won’t tell you the rest, things might get feathery!

Before Mum’s wed­ding, I got my hair cut so short that on the day I wore a tuxedo instead of a dress. They were sell­ing ille­gal red cor­dial at the time of the after party, so I took my chances and had a sip. It tasted bet­ter know­ing where I’d end up, because nobody would see me like this in jail. I guess it was the Trunk Food Com­pany behind it.

The biggest ani­mal on our farm is the unshorn merino. At our school par-tay they wanted it there instead of the school mas­cot. A kid called Dr Mary­loaf started to ride it. It’s now in hospital…sad really! It must have been groomed by my mum after her FAP meet­ing. Mum makes every­thing look like card­board…includ­ing me! Maybe he thought the merino was one of those card­board mod­els that you just jump on and ride?

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